dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining, just pee on my face and i will stop complaining

[proceed]

 

ANNUAL SPIRIUS CHRISTMAS PARTY NOT FEAT. BISLEY BAKUR, PROBABLY

this is a fancy party!!! formal clothes n stuff. julius will give your char a horrible stupid secret santa gift, but other than that idc what you do

 

Comments

[cuestick]

I don't know!?!?!?! [Takamichi's distressed levels is at 200% enough that he drops the deer head and lets it hit the floor with a clunk. He's way too terrified to pick it up with those beady eyes staring into him.]

I can't even look at it without feeling sick to my stomach and there is no where I can hide this thing!

[He's screaming so much on the inside HE DOESN'T WANT THIS FOR CHRISTMAS.]

[sadoromantic]

[ just because he's used to takamichi having screaming nutso meltdowns in inconspicuous public places doesn't mean he can handle it well, so issei does the only thing he's good at doing, which is bitch. ]

Hey, get a hold of yourself! It's not going to bite you! It's already dead!

[ sCOWLING AT THE OFFENSIVE CREATURE'S HEAD, he picks it up by an antler, just kind of holding it like a stupid kid who has no idea how delicate the object he is swinging around is. ]

They scooped out and cleaned its insides and everything! If it's freaking you out that much, just toss it behind a plant! Here!

[ issei gives his arm a light swing to throw the dumb stuffed deer but its antler snaps loudly and sends the head flying backwards. it sounds like it hit someone. issei is just...reflexively dropping what's left of the antler... ]

[cuestick]

[Right as Issei threw it, he went stunned quicker than an emolga volt switching on his ass.

Takamichi quickly grabbed Issei's arm and starts to drag him way to the back of the party where nobody is.]

Weneedtomovenow. Don't look, don't even fucking look back at where you threw that!

[He's pretty sure Issei hit an elderly guest and when Takamichi swears, that means he's serious and Issei better listen to him or else.]

[sadoromantic]

Wha-- Hey!

[ issei lets himself be dragged because takamichi dropping f-bombs and looking like he wants to die are not things to be trifled with. it's either do as he says or get gored by that antler he dropped. besides, he's...embarrassed too...holy shit... HOW DID THAT HAPPEN WHY DID HE LET THAT HAPPEN.............

as soon as they're mostly out of sight, probably way farther than necessary, issei finally looks back and grumbles like this isn't all his fucking fault. ]

Tch... I don't think the old hag noticed. And anyway, it was just a little bump, it's not like she--

[ IT'S NOT LIKE SHE REALIZED HE WAS KNOCKED OVER BY A GIANT STUFFED DEER!!!!!!!!! ]

[cuestick]

She's old! Old! With enough force like that, you could have killed her and get arrested on Christmas!

[Far as in to the nice outside balcony where nobody really is at right now because everyone loves talking with shitty gifts apparently. Takamichi's face is red in stress, anger, and being extremely upset that he cannot even look at Issei in the eyes right now.

He just slinks to sitting on the ground with his face in his hands and leaning against the balcony edge.]

Even with such terrible gifts from the host, I wanted to try to make this nice... With just the three of us together... Nnnrrrngh! I can't you two dogs anywhere anymore!

[He's so fucking broken.]

[sadoromantic]

Hey-- Takamichi!

[ oh god, he feels awful, issei wants to throw himself off the edge of the balcony. he knows futami and he are the actual worst and probably need to be on a leash half the time, so he doesn't know how takamichi puts up with them. issei definitely wants to die in a hole.

but, being the awkward fuck that he is, all he can do is stoop next to takamichi. he raises a hand to touch him, but realizes he has no idea where, so issei just withdraws it. his expression looks pained, as if he were fighting back his natural instinct to be an embarrassing ass. well, more of an embarrassing ass. ]

No one's getting arrested on Christmas, especially not me! Look... Even though if she died, it would have been her own fault, I guess I still acted like a dumb kid back there.

[ he doesn't need to apologize for futami being completely shitfaced because that is just futami in his natural state. smelly and drunk but trying so hard...... ]

I guess Futami and I could have tried harder to make today better, so...

[ issei is just like wAHT DO????!?! in his head so he just leans over to nose takamichi's temple like the stupid, reproachful animal he is. ]

Sorry.

[cuestick]

Issei...

[He is so terrible with dealing with drunk Futami that staying with Issei for the night is the better option between picking two terrible fates.

Feeling Issei's nose against his temple is a little nice... Issei really sucks at affection and trying to make things better, he knows this very well at this point.

He lets his hands fall and just... leans close to Issei. His eyes are exhausted, holding back from actually crying tears because if he cries, it's just more teasing from Issei and Futami. Actually, he might get teased for saying this but-]

You really scare me so much sometimes.

[...]

If anything were to happen to you, I-

[. . .]

F-Forget it. I'm just saying stupid things as always.

[sadoromantic]

...Tch.

[ there are no words for how shitty issei feels about always ruining everything takamichi loves. why?? why???? wHT??/Y?? rather than scream into the night, he just wraps an arm around takamichi's shoulders, a little bothered by the puffpuff around his shoulder. like any good tsundere, he looks away all the while. ]

It's not stupid. Even though you worry all the time, Futami and I know it's because you care.

[ grumble grumble......... ]

I know I still have a long way to go before I straighten up completely, but you know... I'd never do anything to...

[ anything to endanger himself or takamichi or futami for real. ]

To hurt you, or make it so that we have to separate.

[ wa ht re werds??/??] ]

[cuestick]

... I know.

[Not everything.... Mostly everything, but Takamichi still loves Issei even after fuck ups and the usual crazy shit. That love can't be ruined no matter what. He can go through every single god damn emotion in one night and would still love Issei like usual.

And Futami too. I guess he loves the neet too, but this is a moment so let the neet be drunk away from this moment.

He takes his puffpuff to burrow his cheeks into it. Yes, he's blushing and no, he doesn't want Issei to see.]

After this party, we can make a better Christmas at home. I guess...

[Words are hard. Emotions are hard. Sorry jesus, but that threeway might be happening tonight if not just two if Futami doesn't pass the fuck out.]