forever21 | dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining, just pee on my face and i will stop complaining

[Of course Eichi is dressed nicely, even if he has no clue why he is here but oh well!!!]

Merry Christmas, Eichi.

[ julius gave eichi a sampler platter of freeze-dried cheeses from around the world. wow...what a great gift... he just figured eichi looked like the kind of person who liked cheese, because everyone else on the planet likes cheese. right? right??? ]

Merry Christmas to you as well, Kresnik-san. Ah-

[Well he does like cheese but this is very unique for a present so it's both bad and good... Is freeze-dried cheese a delicacy in Juilius' world? Maybe.

He can just leave this at the buffet table. It's Christmas, why not share the joy? He smiles.]

Thank you very much. I will be sure to share this with my family and friends at this fine party.

[ eichi is being so nice about this that julius almost feels bad he didn't get him something that was, you know, useful and not disgusting, probably. but he doesn't know what else he could have possibly gotten him... ]

I'm glad to hear it. I know I'm not the best at gift-giving, so your gratitude means a lot.

[ he got ludger a fucking christmas cd that's how bad he is at gift-giving ]

I understand. Giving gifts is not an easy task, especially when strangers come to play. It's the thought that matters for the season, correct?

[Juilius is so lucky that Eichi is angelic tier to extreme.]

I can tell you have good intentions and don't mean to cause harm in your gifts. Huhu... You are safe with me, do not worry.

[ julius is so fond of angelic cinnamon buns. sure, the only heaven-sent pastry he will ever eat (sexually) is his brother who is also his cousin and spiritual husband, but julius can still appreciate other precious babby angles (not sexually). after how awful last year was, this is such a welcome change..... ]

That's a relief. I can't say all my recipients have been as polite as you are. Threats of bodily harm aren't uncommon for me, unfortunately.

Enough about that, though. I hope you and everyone around you enjoys the cheese.

[ the frozen cheese, even. ]

[Aw, so sweet. Don't worry, this cinnamon angel is in love with that crazy guy that you gave an ugly sweater to and somehow doesn't die from the crazy fucking wataru sometimes does.]

That's unfortunate.

[Eichi already unwraps the plastic wrapping and since the buffet table is nearby, he just sets it down on it.]

I'm sure we will. In fact, I will share this with the entire party. Christmas is all about sharing with those around you after all.

[It's all good intentions okay. Your gift isn't perfect Julius, but it's still useable to a degree.]

[ julius can tell it's just a polite way of passing the flavorless crunchy space cheese off onto others, but he still appreciates the fact eichi isn't screaming at him or asking if he secretly hates him. if anything, he's more than fine with it. if everyone eats some, it'll be harder to trace who the abominable cheese came from. ]

That's a good attitude to have. Rotten gift-giving abilities aside, Christmas is one of my favorite holidays too. It's nice being able to spend quality time with your loved ones.

[ his first favorite is valentine's day because (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) ]

...Tch. This is stupid.

[ he is dressed like in his newest card and he already got his horrible stupid gift from the secret santa thing, so he's just kind of standing around and sulking awkwardly. the gift in his hands is...a toy gumball machine. welp. ]

O-Obviously.

[While it's a nice party, all the strangers and what not is making Takamichi staying close to Issei. Of course, he is matching with his new card too.

... His secret santa present is a miniature taxidermy deer head. He has no idea what to do with it.]

I'm supposed to be used to this crap, but this is the first I feel off at a high class party.

[ takamichi being awkward alongside him isn't strange in itself, but issei isn't used to seeing his poor green babby so distressed. his gift probably isn't helping him feel any more at ease. issei just looks takamichi's ugly ass dead deer in the eyes and glares at it. ]

That's probably because of how creepy your present is. Who the hell gives a stranger a dead animal?

I don't know!?!?!?! [Takamichi's distressed levels is at 200% enough that he drops the deer head and lets it hit the floor with a clunk. He's way too terrified to pick it up with those beady eyes staring into him.]

I can't even look at it without feeling sick to my stomach and there is no where I can hide this thing!

[He's screaming so much on the inside HE DOESN'T WANT THIS FOR CHRISTMAS.]

[ just because he's used to takamichi having screaming nutso meltdowns in inconspicuous public places doesn't mean he can handle it well, so issei does the only thing he's good at doing, which is bitch. ]

Hey, get a hold of yourself! It's not going to bite you! It's already dead!

[ sCOWLING AT THE OFFENSIVE CREATURE'S HEAD, he picks it up by an antler, just kind of holding it like a stupid kid who has no idea how delicate the object he is swinging around is. ]

They scooped out and cleaned its insides and everything! If it's freaking you out that much, just toss it behind a plant! Here!

[ issei gives his arm a light swing to throw the dumb stuffed deer but its antler snaps loudly and sends the head flying backwards. it sounds like it hit someone. issei is just...reflexively dropping what's left of the antler... ]

[Right as Issei threw it, he went stunned quicker than an emolga volt switching on his ass.

Takamichi quickly grabbed Issei's arm and starts to drag him way to the back of the party where nobody is.]

Weneedtomovenow. Don't look, don't even fucking look back at where you threw that!

[He's pretty sure Issei hit an elderly guest and when Takamichi swears, that means he's serious and Issei better listen to him or else.]

Wha-- Hey!

[ issei lets himself be dragged because takamichi dropping f-bombs and looking like he wants to die are not things to be trifled with. it's either do as he says or get gored by that antler he dropped. besides, he's...embarrassed too...holy shit... HOW DID THAT HAPPEN WHY DID HE LET THAT HAPPEN.............

as soon as they're mostly out of sight, probably way farther than necessary, issei finally looks back and grumbles like this isn't all his fucking fault. ]

Tch... I don't think the old hag noticed. And anyway, it was just a little bump, it's not like she--

[ IT'S NOT LIKE SHE REALIZED HE WAS KNOCKED OVER BY A GIANT STUFFED DEER!!!!!!!!! ]

She's old! Old! With enough force like that, you could have killed her and get arrested on Christmas!

[Far as in to the nice outside balcony where nobody really is at right now because everyone loves talking with shitty gifts apparently. Takamichi's face is red in stress, anger, and being extremely upset that he cannot even look at Issei in the eyes right now.

He just slinks to sitting on the ground with his face in his hands and leaning against the balcony edge.]

Even with such terrible gifts from the host, I wanted to try to make this nice... With just the three of us together... Nnnrrrngh! I can't you two dogs anywhere anymore!

[He's so fucking broken.]

Hey-- Takamichi!

[ oh god, he feels awful, issei wants to throw himself off the edge of the balcony. he knows futami and he are the actual worst and probably need to be on a leash half the time, so he doesn't know how takamichi puts up with them. issei definitely wants to die in a hole.

but, being the awkward fuck that he is, all he can do is stoop next to takamichi. he raises a hand to touch him, but realizes he has no idea where, so issei just withdraws it. his expression looks pained, as if he were fighting back his natural instinct to be an embarrassing ass. well, more of an embarrassing ass. ]

No one's getting arrested on Christmas, especially not me! Look... Even though if she died, it would have been her own fault, I guess I still acted like a dumb kid back there.

[ he doesn't need to apologize for futami being completely shitfaced because that is just futami in his natural state. smelly and drunk but trying so hard...... ]

I guess Futami and I could have tried harder to make today better, so...

[ issei is just like wAHT DO????!?! in his head so he just leans over to nose takamichi's temple like the stupid, reproachful animal he is. ]

Sorry.

Issei...

[He is so terrible with dealing with drunk Futami that staying with Issei for the night is the better option between picking two terrible fates.

Feeling Issei's nose against his temple is a little nice... Issei really sucks at affection and trying to make things better, he knows this very well at this point.

He lets his hands fall and just... leans close to Issei. His eyes are exhausted, holding back from actually crying tears because if he cries, it's just more teasing from Issei and Futami. Actually, he might get teased for saying this but-]

You really scare me so much sometimes.

[...]

If anything were to happen to you, I-

[. . .]

F-Forget it. I'm just saying stupid things as always.

...Tch.

[ there are no words for how shitty issei feels about always ruining everything takamichi loves. why?? why???? wHT??/Y?? rather than scream into the night, he just wraps an arm around takamichi's shoulders, a little bothered by the puffpuff around his shoulder. like any good tsundere, he looks away all the while. ]

It's not stupid. Even though you worry all the time, Futami and I know it's because you care.

[ grumble grumble......... ]

I know I still have a long way to go before I straighten up completely, but you know... I'd never do anything to...

[ anything to endanger himself or takamichi or futami for real. ]

To hurt you, or make it so that we have to separate.

[ wa ht re werds??/??] ]

... I know.

[Not everything.... Mostly everything, but Takamichi still loves Issei even after fuck ups and the usual crazy shit. That love can't be ruined no matter what. He can go through every single god damn emotion in one night and would still love Issei like usual.

And Futami too. I guess he loves the neet too, but this is a moment so let the neet be drunk away from this moment.

He takes his puffpuff to burrow his cheeks into it. Yes, he's blushing and no, he doesn't want Issei to see.]

After this party, we can make a better Christmas at home. I guess...

[Words are hard. Emotions are hard. Sorry jesus, but that threeway might be happening tonight if not just two if Futami doesn't pass the fuck out.]

[ futami is dressed in this monstrosity-- and with the way he saunters up to issei, beer can in hand, it's pretty obvious he's already had a bit Too Much to drink.

his secret santa gift was literally just beer. wow. ]

Hey, Issei! Looks like you got mine! ♪

Edited 2015-12-10 04:40 (UTC)

[ he was about to tell futami how FUCKING STUPID!!!!!!! his cardigan is, but he was too busy opening his present with a little more interest than he intended. when he opens it and pulls the little 4 pack of beer out of its wrapping, issei obviously looks like he's about to shit his pants. ]

Futami! What the hell is this?! This is just beer! You get this for me all the time! This isn't a present!

[ holy shit calm down ]

[ WHOA THERE TIGER he has??? no idea why this is a bad thing??? let him just have another big gulp of beer before trying to tackle this dilemma-- he isn't drunk enough for this kind of lover's quarrel... ]

Eeeeh? But it's something I know you like! What's wrong with that?

[ maybe the fact that it's obviously a six pack that he's already taken two from and that it's piss warm. ]

[ if this wasn't perfectly good beer, issei would throw it somewhere in a fit of little girl titty baby pissrage. ]

That isn't the point! There was no thought put into this at all! Look, two of the cans are even missing! You just grabbed this out of your empty refrigerator before you came here, didn't you?!

[ oh yeah... issei kind of has a point... he guesses... ]

Heey, heey... ♪ [ this is the part where he tries to seductively lean on issei's shoulder, except it'd probably work better if he wasn't a disgusting drunk-ass NEET in a stupid fucking sloth cardigan. ] Let's not get angry on Christmas, 'kay...

You smell like you're wasted!

[ issei barks this out like he's so very scandalized, but it's not new to him like at all...plus, futami has a point...it is jesus' birthday...and jesus would not want them to fight. jesus wouldn't want them to have 3 way sex with their anxious boyfriend later tonight either, but jesus can't always get what he wants. ]

Tch... Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean you get a free pass! But I guess I can forgive you this time. You'd better make it up to me later though. Or else.

More like you smell like you aren't wasted enough, hehe! ♪

[ futami laughs like this is all just soooooo funny, breaking off as he sways a little on his feet. man, this all went straight to his head... not just the beer, but the punch as well. ]

Sure, sureeee... I'll make it up you starting now! Want a smoke?

[ he only has three in this package... but futami supposes he can sacrifice one as a peace offering to get issei to settle down. or he can probably offer up the other can of beer he has. you know, the one that's actually kind of cold still. ]

[ issei just rolls his eyes like why the fuck do i love this drunk neet fuckhead, why does he make my heart happy. even now he just wants to hug futami and lay in a pile of blankets while watching bad youtube videos in a dark room...... goddamnit. ]

You're definitely wasted enough for the both of us, you lousy drunkard.

[ still, he does that bad boy anime smirk thing. ]

Since you're offering though, I guess I can accept your penance. I hope that ugly sweater of yours is warm. And you'd better have a lighter on you too!

[ wataru is !!SO EXCITED!! to open this gift. holy shit. this is gonna be so fun. ]

I hope you like your gift, Wataru.

[ it's the ugliest july 4th sweater ever. the 4th of july is a famous holiday in some crazy-ass country over in he west that celebrates its independence or some shit. julius doesn't know. wataru looks like he'd like exotic things, so....... ]

[ he is opening this box so fast, and... wow. have you ever seen anyone this overjoyed at getting a hideous sweater?

the answer is probably no. HE FUCKING LOVES THIS... ]

It's wonderful! ☆ May I try it on now?!

[ OH THANK GOD ]

Go right ahead. I'm sure it'll look great.

[ oh boy! you don't need to tell him that twice. wataru shrugs out of his jacket without a care in the world, and... puts the new sweater on over the Fancy Outfit he's wearing. it sure is a sight to behold, but he's beaming as he clasps his hands together. ]

Amazing! ☆ Julius-san, you might be as adept at surprising people as myself! I must thank you for such a splendid gift...

[ wtf is he on about ]

[ wataru look terrible.......julius can't help but wonder if he's being mocked....... it's hard to tell with wataru since he's crazy and all. ]

It looks great on you. The reds and whites are really festive, aren't they?

[ no ]

You don't have to thank me. It's a secret santa, right?

[ it's ok julius... no one understands wataru... he's too fucking insane. ]

They are! To think that one holiday's color scheme could match with another's... Amazing!!

[ jesus fucking christ ]

Indeed... I can only hope what you received has brought you equal amounts of joy!

It is pretty interesting, isn't it? I don't know the history of either holiday well, so I can't comment on the significance of the colors. That doesn't change the fact they look interesting together, though.

[ julius can't say that his gift was very good, no...... maybe he can give it to rollo. ]

I no...his present wasn't particularly good... ]

I was one of the guests who was given a taxidermy animal. Another young man got a stag's head, but I was lucky and got a possum.

[ he's like half-joking, compared to a deer or the bottom half of a baby zebra, like other people got, julius would say he's...alright...with what he got... ]

[ The only person who gives him gifts is Mika, and that probably involves food or fucking, so this is a new experience! ]

Merry Christmas.

[ he had absolutely no clue what to get orga, so he decided to just get him a gift card. not just any giftcard though-- a gift card to a designer beachwear boutique that mostly specializes in exotic belly-button rings. he tried, ok. ]

[ titus has no idea what any of this is about even but he is dressed to impress in his thigh-baring best and about to get turnt af ]

Merry Christmas, Titus.

[ capturing dungeons and fucking his brother under the sweltering desert sun has left julius' brain as nothing but a fried mush, so his idea of a good gift is apparently a cd full of kidz bop-style anime OPs/EDs, which is what he got titus. ]

Oh — yes! I shall think seriously about marrying Chris Miss!

[ he doesn't open the gift or anything but he takes it! then he looks around for a second and grabs a candy dish from a nearby table and hands it to Julius. they're handing each other things, right? god, what a great party!! ]

[ he is way too cool for this stupid party. it doesn't even have REAL food!!! no one will serve him drinks, either, because he stole someone else's fake id. only losers pay for that kind of crap. it's so hard being an so important. no one understands. ]

Hey! Pay attention to me!

[ god he hates this kid ]

Sorry for the delay Luke. Here, your present.

[ he hands the box that he'd paid some poor child at the department store to wrap for him over to the squabbling little shit. it's a box of moon sand, you know, that sand stuff that sticks together that you can mold and sculpt, but it doesnt stick to the carpet??? it's p cool....julius thought it was cool..... ]

What's wrong, little buddy? Having a bad time?

[ who let this predator freak in here?? probably the same person who let luke in tbh ]

So, big brother... You said you had a surprise for me?

[ ludger gives him a Knowing smile even though, in all honesty, he has no idea what julius' surprise is. he's dressed in that suit from the official art, i'm not digging it up since you know what i'm talking about. ]

I sure do. I think I nailed this secret santa thing this year. Merry Christmas, Ludger.

[ he seems really confident as he hands the wrapped box over. it's actually the latest 7 piece utensil set from the tales of equivalent of gordon ramsey, so i guess that'd be wonderchef, but anyway. it's actually a really awesome gift.

except there was a mixup at the department store, and inside this package is a matryoshka doll shaped like colored potatoes, and engraved in each potato is one fact about cockroaches. it was a gift between an entomologist couple...oops... ]

dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining, just pee on my face and i will stop complaining

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i just noticed that eichi looks a little shuuzo in this icon idek

eichi is infinitely more beautiful than that rabid dishrag will ever be, dw

tiny tsundere girl, ota

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;) ;) ;) ;)

SCREMIES

LAUGHS

THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER

this isn't what home alone taught me...

*in my angry white kid during the holidays voice* I HATE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!

*old white guy w/ gun voice* MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMAL

i wish i had white relatives so i could take you to their house and let you experience a white xmas

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i love doing the grant access thing

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in my angry white kid during the holidays voice I HATE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!

old white guy w/ gun voice MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMAL